Dating: After the Ex Factor

Dating: After the Ex Factor

 It has been tough getting through my break-up, but then again what break-up isn’t tough? I believe the thing that upsets us the most is when the reality comes in that he or she really wasn’t meant to be with you.  Most break-ups happen because your partner lied or was just out right selfish. Am I right? I feel like all relationships can make it through anything when both parties are willing to put in the necessary effort to maintain their love. You can’t put a weltering relationship on a schedule. That is a sign of selfishness straight out the gate. It’s about making time for what you want. Nobody wants to wait on a person that has never shown any effort.

Since I’ve been dating I have come to terms that I deserve way more than I allow myself to get. I also realized that the last two relationships I was in became relationship rather quickly. This go around I am not so quick to become somebody’s girlfriend. You are going to have to date me. Period!  Dating use to be the part I skipped, but it is fully a part of me now.  I love being courted by a guy. I like the flowers, candy, and good morning text messages. I have embraced all the men that have embraced me. They want to know who I am as a woman. There are no games only sincerity. I love to get off the phone and still be smiling 15 minutes after the conversation. I love to feel a person’s good intentions.

There was a time when I thought that if a woman was spoiled by a dude that it was a down low version of gold digging. Today I ask myself, “What is wrong with a man showing his appreciation to his lady?”  There is nothing wrong with this. It doesn’t just exist in movies and R&B songs.  TRUE STORY: A guy I’m conversing with told me that he was going to spoil me. I’m so strong willed that I thought he was full of crap. Why? No had ever spoiled me before. I mean ever! Spoiling a woman doesn’t even take money. So don’t think he bought my affection. My affection is priceless.  I have had a habit of getting the dudes that talk until their lips fall off, but never show you any kind of action. Hell I thought women being spoiled by a man in today’s society was an urban myth.  Needless to say it isn’t. When you believe that you deserve great treatment than you can never experience the bad treatment.  Don’t accept bad treatment to fit into someone else intentions. You have your own that your following. Never forget that *mental note*.

I have a habit of creating this fantasy reality in my head because I want to desperately have a successful relationship. Love can make you stupid as hell sometimes. I know now that I can only go off of a man’s actions. Not what I think he may eventually get around to doing. It’s all about giving to a person who wants to do nothing more than to give to you.  So remember that break-ups happen for a reason. There was something that he or she wasn’t doing to make you happy anymore. Break-ups only happen when a person knows they deserve more than what they’ve been getting.

© 2012, Geri C. All rights reserved.

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