Geri C. is known throughout the Washington DC Metropolitan for dishing out some of the rawest sex and relationship advice. She first launched her sex and relationship column in 2006 with the help of Ray Choates, owner and founder of DC Music and Models. She received strong feedback from her readers for articles such as “Text Sexing”, “The Joys of Oral Sex”, and “Relationship Foundation”.
I ask myself everyday why I put this much energy into a hopeless situation. Thoughts of you consume my mind every day. How can I walk on when everything is telling me to stay? Stay and break down your barrier. Initially I thought you were worth the fight. Even after everything that happen, but for the first time doubts approach. I can’t keep wishing for a situation that will never happen. I can’t keep expecting you to call or text me when thoughts of me don’t reside in you. I’ve been the fucking fool. I let you into a place that you never deserved and left the battlefield wounded. You go on pretending that we never had anything to build on when the truth is your fear scared you out of the beautiful possibilities. Is there truly a lack of curiosity if it takes all my strength not to search you on Instagram or Twitter. There is a lack of curiosity that lies within me regarding you now. Your truth scares me. It may damage my perception of you. A big part of me claimed you without you knowing. I felt obliged to take ownership of what my heart told me had been mine all along. I’ve given you every part of me; haven’t you noticed? I hold on to the things you said in the beginning; maybe you forgot. At one time you couldn’t wait to meet my mother. The next you were telling me off stating that people in your occupation could have a wife and family. Although I went into the situation doubtful those moments made me drop my guard. I believed in it. I believe that you could be an exception to the rule. The truth is I should have never let you in as much as I did.
My last text to you was greeted with no reply. I left my love on your phone and now I’m questioning why. Maybe moving to your state is a mistake. My thoughts are screaming move far away; let that be your escape. I’ve reached a point where you better come correct. I really don’t see all that we have left. I knew you trust me when that video hit my Gmail. Your inability to express your feelings towards me is what causes this hell. I question why you don’t feel what I feel. Maybe in your heart what I feel isn’t real. I’ve taking all the steps that I can with you. This whole thing comes down to you. I’ve done all I can.
I refuse to obsess over a situation I never had any control over. I’m ready to live beyond this situation. If it is meant to be it will be. Until then I am detoxing my life. That includes men and sex. I emotionally need a break from the unknown.