Geri C. is known throughout the Washington DC Metropolitan for dishing out some of the rawest sex and relationship advice. She first launched her sex and relationship column in 2006 with the help of Ray Choates, owner and founder of DC Music and Models. She received strong feedback from her readers for articles such as “Text Sexing”, “The Joys of Oral Sex”, and “Relationship Foundation”.
I’m in an empty space. My heart flutters to the sound of your voice. My spirit dances every time your eyes connect with mine. I felt like this was more. My heart told me this was more. I’ve always been one to stand by what my heart feels. You make me question my ability to feel. The coldness of your spirit has made repeated attempts to blacken my thoughts of love. After laying my heart on the line; it was stomped into pieces. Not by what you said, but by what you didn’t. I’ve tried moving on, but my heart always leads me back to you. That repeated thought in my head “You are making a bad choice” and my heart always redeems your screwed up actions. You never made me any promises. I understand that, but why hold on to a woman that you don’t want. I’m sure you can have any woman you want, but I’m still a part of your life in a way. You only text me when you want sexual favors. I oblige to every request in hope of hearing you tell me how much you care for me. Pathetic isn’t it? I’m losing sight of who I am as a woman. This has become a self-inflicted torture that I hungrily feed off of. I question why I give you so much power over me. Is good dick really making me this stupid?
When it comes to you I keep making the same dumb choices because these dumb choices feels good for a moment. This has been the longest one night stand of my life. Why did I ever expect growth from this? You tell me to be patience and let it flow. I get that. Then I turn to the reality of what has been. You have never called me to see how I’m doing. You have never asked about things that are going on in my life. You are unapologetic for it because you figure I’m not your woman. This would have been over a long time ago if I had not put the effort into keeping this idea of us alive. As a woman I have degraded not only my worth, but my belief in love by dealing with a man that clearly has never wanted me beyond sex. I’m sick of being the fool. I’ve taking so much from you. I’ve been unsure about a lot because of your inability to express your feelings towards me. I’ve loved one man before you and he actual loved me back. To feel the same type of love for you and not get it back is painful. If it isn’t there then I must move on. I don’t even recognize all the good that my life consists of because I’m so blinded by a man who does not love me.
I had a bad dream about you last night. Towards the end of the dream I received a text message from you that woke me up and added fright to my fear. At that point I finally woke up. Dreams have a tendency of speaking to you. Time is too valuable. What good is a love that is sincerely not returned? Although this is a back and forth situation that we are dealing with I hope to get to my fed up point sooner than later. I have a weakness for you that is indescribable. I have seen a whole life with you in great detail. This is clearly a possibility that only I can see. I’m so lost. I don’t know what direction to go in. It’s so hard for me to leave love behind when I believe in it as much as I believe in my love for you. You are a part of me. I can’t help but to hold on to the possibilities. My faith in this has not allowed me to let go yet.