Geri C. is known throughout the Washington DC Metropolitan for dishing out some of the rawest sex and relationship advice. She first launched her sex and relationship column in 2006 with the help of Ray Choates, owner and founder of DC Music and Models. She received strong feedback from her readers for articles such as “Text Sexing”, “The Joys of Oral Sex”, and “Relationship Foundation”.
As we approach the end of 2014 we begin to reflect. For me it is important to acknowledge my choices whether they where good or bad. There were two individuals that provided me with the greatest lessons this year. The saddest story can reveal truth. Reflecting helps you close those chapters so you are able to write new ones. Its okay to embrace the anger and the pain; just don’t become of it.
I used to leave your place feeling the worse. I would literally be in my car in tears wonder why you didn‘t feel what I felt. Time has healed old wounds. For the first time I left your place with clarity. I had blocked you out of my life because you weren’t willing to make any room for me in yours. I have accepted that we are nothing and moved on emotionally. There was a time that your presence would immediately cancel the presence of any other man pursuing me. I’m happy to say it doesn’t any more. Although you said that you text me a few times; it is not enough. You only text me because of what I can provide for you sexually. You still don’t realize that the sex has been this amazing because BOTH of our feelings were involved.
I sat across from you listening to everything that is going on in your life. I’ve learned through Buddhism that the most important thing you can give to someone is your ability to listen. You save that person in a way by listening to their thoughts. At that moment you needed that. I can tell the way you looked at me that you felt my presence was different. I’m not the same confused girl whose thoughts soley relied on what I thought we would become. Change became inevitable. I stop expecting anything from you. At first I did things in order to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anyone because you only end up hurting yourself. I have seen you for who you are and what you will become. You are an amazing man underneath the lights. I was never interested in the lights; I was always interested in you. That’s why we where difficult towards one another. You weren’t ready to feel. I understand that now. Hell you still aren’t ready. That is fine. I can handle it now.
When it came down to us everything happened fast. It almost felt like a storybook fairy tale until the truth was exposed. One beautiful night in New York I met you. I was at a club looking for the rest room when you approached me. I told you I had to pee and you waited. From that moment forward we were inseparable. He was a mature man who seemed very cultured. I enjoyed our conversations. I fell head over heels for him. He was the total gentleman. When I went back to New York to see him it was magical. He whisked me all over the city. He even took me to his brownstone on the Upper West side. His place looked like a page ripped out of IKEA. It was perfect, but nothing in life is perfect.
When I left we would talk on the phone every day. One evening we were talking and I heard a woman in the background. Naturally I was pissed. It sounded like he put the phone in the couch so she would not see it. When she finally left the room he grabbed the phone only to notice that he didn’t hang it up. He was busted! Turns out he was in a relationship with someone else. He pleaded and begged me to be patience with him. I’m not built to be the side chick so I cancelled everything I thought we had. Two weeks ago I get an email from him begging me to unblock him. My curiosity got the best of me and I unblocked his number. As I spoke with him on the phone he informs me that he is still in a relationship with the same woman. I don’t understand why any man would contact a woman if he isn’t free to do so. He definitely earned his spot back on my blocked list. It’s ashamed too… he was a great kisser.
I write this to say never give up on love. Yes we all go through drama. We can’t avoid that because instead of embracing honesty; most people embrace playing games at the expense of another’s heart. I didn’t realize this until I strengthen my belief system. Everyone we come across is not meant to be “the one”, they might only be there to teach us what to avoid. I feel like every lesson prepares you for the right person. You can’t rush love. We must all realize how to love first.