Geri C. is known throughout the Washington DC Metropolitan for dishing out some of the rawest sex and relationship advice. She first launched her sex and relationship column in 2006 with the help of Ray Choates, owner and founder of DC Music and Models. She received strong feedback from her readers for articles such as “Text Sexing”, “The Joys of Oral Sex”, and “Relationship Foundation”.
After five month of having him on my block list I decided to unblock him. Maybe deep down I want to see if he would still try to reach me after five month of not being able too. I always figured he wouldn’t because he had always made it clear that his feelings weren’t involved. Beside, after five month it is easy to move on in his line of work.
The next day I received a text from him. I guess he had gotten in the routine of contacting me when he would return home. Yet and still he stuck to the story that it was only sex? The truth is his pride wouldn’t allow him to let it go beyond that. The conversation we had during our text session didn’t even matter. I had always become weak and gave into his needs.
Entering his place again felt different. He felt different, but I didn’t allow myself to believe that anything with him was different. For almost three years it had been the same bullshit. I had become numb to him and his excuse on why it would never work. I was done being the only one all in. I had nothing more to say to him. Yes we had sex, but I wasn’t there. I was in my head asking myself, “What the fuck am I doing here?”
The sex had always been amazing, but this time my heart felt different. I remember he said to me that he could feel my heart beating fast. It was because it was in the process of breaking. The love wasn’t lost; my ability to keep trying and pursuing him was over. I was done. The next morning I bid him good bye and left. I thought that would be my last time seeing him, but I was wrong.
A month later I received a text from him saying that he was coming home and needed someone to pick him up from the airport. I’m not sure why I agree to help him out, but I did. I had arrived two hours early at the airport. When you have time to spare; your thoughts tend to keep you company. In those two hours I realized that he had no respect for me. He was use to me telling him yes to everything. He was comfortable. I realize in dealing with him that I was hurting myself. He was benefiting. That had to change.
He eventually got in the car. Nothing about his selfishness changed. I didn’t get a thank you or anything for going out of my way to pick him up. He had always felt privileged when dealing with me. As I got on the highway I told God that I finally get it. When we got to his place I planned on using the bathroom then leaving. He wasn’t having that. We had sex for the last time. I left his place feeling so low! I cried the entire time I was on my way to a meeting. I was disguised with myself. I had torcher myself by loving a man that never cared about me. I was the fool.
The problem with him was that he always down played us. It was beyond sexual; he knew it was. What he thought was magical had always been love to me. I was done putting myself in a painful situation for the amusement of this man. He has been my love and my muse for years and I had to let go. I had to be done for the sake of my ability to eventually love the right man. I was completely done loving the wrong man. It was time to move on and love somebody else.