Geri C. is known throughout the Washington DC Metropolitan for dishing out some of the rawest sex and relationship advice. She first launched her sex and relationship column in 2006 with the help of Ray Choates, owner and founder of DC Music and Models. She received strong feedback from her readers for articles such as “Text Sexing”, “The Joys of Oral Sex”, and “Relationship Foundation”.
Yesterday was the day we met two years ago. July 30, 2012 held one of the highest positions in my heart. I remember the moment you hit me. I thought you’d be on some bullshit. Our first night together prove otherwise. You were so sensual when it came to us. From the way you held me to the way you’d kiss me. On that night I felt like your lips belong to me. I felt that your feelings towards me were genuine. Although I had my initial doubts because of your occupation you reassured me that you wanted a wife and children one day. When the words left your mouth my guard came completely down and I believed you. Most importantly I believed in you. I never expected when you left for work you’d come back a stranger. Words that were spoken meant nothing to you anymore. You came back on you high horse and forgot how to feel. At least you stop feeling what you felt before you left. The sensual man I had fallen so heavy for had disappeared. I desperately yearn for him to come back to me, but the more he went away, the more his feelings strayed away from me.
I had turned down every guy that approached me. When I tried to say fuck it and move on you’d always find a way to get your position back. Your influence over my judgment left me weak. You had become a weakness that I could not fathom living without. Even though you had me guessing with your mind games; I was still committed to the possibility of us become a unit. I’d do anything for you and you knew it. I’m not sure if you appreciated it or took advantage of it because your emotions had turned so cold.
As I fast forward to today I am left baffled by why I downplayed what I needed. You had put me through so much and you weren’t sincerely apologetic for any of it. I loved you from you first place to your move up to you bring me a million disease back and me still loving you afterwards. I believed that you love a person through the good and the bad. You had that with me and you never deserved it to begin with. I fought for a man that wouldn’t even check if I made it home safely. Times have changed and now I have turned away from us. Real men fight for what they want. I’m nobody’s puppet. I don’t need you. I wanted you. Never mistake that. You weren’t there for me when I needed you. I was so selfless when it came to you and you were so selfish when it came to me. I guess it was never meant to work. My friends knew I deserved better; they are right, I do.
Carrie from Sex and the City once said “Did I ever really love Big or was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable?”
I am no longer addicted. No more jerking me around. Two years of the same shit. You may have been Mr. Big, but I’m leaning towards Alexander Petrosky.
Fair well (opens next chapter).